- 09:28 Awake too early. Have to deal with CMP today before they shut off our power...oh life. #
- 09:56 Ok...got it figured out...not getting our power shut off...yay! #
- 10:32 A little less stressed....about some things at least. #
- 10:33 Feel dead today though. Reallyyy don't wanna go to work tonight. #
- 10:54 @JennyBucket I know! (((hugs)) How are you? #
- 11:04 @JennyBucket I worked all weekend,...so it sucked lol. And I'm dead and have to work tonight. #
- 11:09 RT @livetorque: "There is no such thing as 'too late' in life."— Mitch Albom #Quote #
- 11:10 RT @livetorque: "Life has to end, love doesn't."
— Mitch Albom # - 11:17 @JennyBucket I wish I could. Too many errands and such to do beforehand. #
- 11:23 @Liasis Yes! Thank God it worked out! #
- 11:23 @JennyBucket Yep. This is my life lately. I hate it. #
- 11:36 "Life is so much cleaner on the page." - -Chroma Key tumblr.com/xjg3xt640 #
- 13:34 12169.) I over-analyze everything. - (via blogsecret) tumblr.com/xjg3xuydb #
- 13:40 12106.) "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost - (via... tumblr.com/xjg3xv1qh #
- 13:42 Photo: I snuggle you! tumblr.com/xjg3xv35t #
- 13:43 Just bought inserts for my shoes....my feet feel better already! #
- 13:45 Photo: Yay! tumblr.com/xjg3xv4mk #
- 13:47 @kimmieCollas Yes...and since I'm working retial I def need them! #
- 13:47 @TaperJean_Girl_ I hear ya! I have high arches so its a must for me too! I just got them today, I'm excited! #
- 13:48 @Laurawhittz09 Thanks! I'm really excited..I've been working retail and my feet have been the WORST! #
- 13:54 @ArcticJadis Hehehe I know, wasn't it? #
- 13:59 @kimmieCollas Hehehe I do toooo! I miss my bunny :( #
- 14:20 @Rangoon7 Yes! I can already feel a difference! #
- 14:23 Off to Rite Aid to get prescriptions and Vitamin C! #
- 15:45 @Rangoon7 Yes it really is...and it def exhausts me! #
- 16:42 12080.) I'm scared to lose you. - (via blogsecret) tumblr.com/xjg3xxzyv #
- 16:52 11958.) i get attached to people easily. - via blogsecret tumblr.com/xjg3xy6qn #
- 17:11 Photo: perpetualspiral: tumblr.com/xjg3xyjfc #
- 17:13 Photo: Just rocking tumblr.com/xjg3xykt6 #
- 17:41 Dan and I are going over to Mel's to try and do damage control. We can't sit back and do nothing anymore. Please hope and pray it works. #
- 18:09 If you have been blinded by your own dreams, your high hopes m... More for Sagittarius bit.ly/79sZN #
- 19:42 Looks like things might be working out..... #
- 20:52 @Fierstarr Things worked out. They broke up officially and he is moving to a friends place tomorrow. Hopefully nothing happens b4 then.... #
- 21:02 Things with Mel will finally be ok...they have broken up and Mike is leaving tomorrow. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. #
- 21:37 @Fierstarr Yes. And I think things will be ok. Thank God. I'm so relieved. #
- 21:38 @Fierstarr Hahaha yes. I feel kinda selfish saying that but meh. I took the night off work to do this, so I guess I cant be THAT selfish. #
- 21:53 @Fierstarr Hahaha thanks. I just try to be a good friend! #
- 00:17 11446.) I need to relax more. - (via blogsecret) tumblr.com/xjg3y6rqv #
- 00:25 @kimmieCollas Oh congrats! What are u doing? #
- 00:27 Photo: bit.ly/1FxHtL tumblr.com/xjg3y6xz6 #
- 00:29 @kimmieCollas Hehehe yes...I love bunnies! #
- 00:31 Photo: I’m a flying kitty! tumblr.com/xjg3y70zn #
- 00:31 @kimmieCollas Awww I had an adorable one my self...miss him lots :( #
- 00:36 @kimmieCollas Awww that's so sad. Mine died while I was away at school. :( #
- 00:41 @kimmieCollas Awwww. I want another one. #
- 00:50 @kimmieCollas Right, makes sense. #
- 00:50 Goodnight all <3 #
Elliot's class was learning about ants. Leaf cutting ants? Doesn't matter.
Ella was the queen ant. Elliot and another student were drones.
Teacher: The queen ant runs away.
(Ella runs off)
Teacher: The drone (pointing at Elliot) runs after her.
(Elliot runs after Ella)
Teacher: The drone taps the queen on the head.
(Elliot taps Ella on the head)
Teacher: They mate and then the drone dies.
Elliot: Okay, but this play just got 80% less beautiful. (dies)
lovelovelovelovelove that boy
Ella was the queen ant. Elliot and another student were drones.
Teacher: The queen ant runs away.
(Ella runs off)
Teacher: The drone (pointing at Elliot) runs after her.
(Elliot runs after Ella)
Teacher: The drone taps the queen on the head.
(Elliot taps Ella on the head)
Teacher: They mate and then the drone dies.
Elliot: Okay, but this play just got 80% less beautiful. (dies)
lovelovelovelovelove that boy
There was a post on gizmodo or lifehacker the other day which offered to de-mystify compiling programs from source for those who weren't familiar with how compiling a program worked.
Basically, they told me to run:
./configure
make
make install
I, personally, was filled with loathing and disgust that they got me all excited that I might learn something new. I should know better. I don't learn new things from Gizmodo and Lifehacker; I just enjoy reading some of the posts.
But some people do learn new things from those posts. Some people do need to compile from source and can't be bothered to read the README, the INSTALL, the instructions from the download page, or Google results.
Which brings me to my point:
I'm going to Kansas City today to present "What's New in Recent Solaris Releases". I was beating myself up about the presentation because no matter how hard I tried I couldn't come up with enough fascinating to fill two hours. There's cool stuff but not two hour's worth.
But there is two hour's worth because, just like Gizmodo and Lifehacker readers haven't figured out ./configure && make install on their own, some Solaris administrators don't know Solaris 10 What's New exists.
Basically, they told me to run:
./configure
make
make install
I, personally, was filled with loathing and disgust that they got me all excited that I might learn something new. I should know better. I don't learn new things from Gizmodo and Lifehacker; I just enjoy reading some of the posts.
But some people do learn new things from those posts. Some people do need to compile from source and can't be bothered to read the README, the INSTALL, the instructions from the download page, or Google results.
Which brings me to my point:
I'm going to Kansas City today to present "What's New in Recent Solaris Releases". I was beating myself up about the presentation because no matter how hard I tried I couldn't come up with enough fascinating to fill two hours. There's cool stuff but not two hour's worth.
But there is two hour's worth because, just like Gizmodo and Lifehacker readers haven't figured out ./configure && make install on their own, some Solaris administrators don't know Solaris 10 What's New exists.
Started ok, but slowed down. One kid got sick and is just now pulling out of his funk, broke his fever around noon today. Stuck on beginning word count, hmmm, maybe should pull out since don't want to bring down the word count. blerg. Have initial blurb written - an intro about happenings during present day for character. You can tell I'm not very inspired since I just name the guy Joe - as in an everyday Joe. After 1st 2 paragraphs - jump back 10-20 years not sure how far I want to jump but it has to be at least 10 - Joe's wife is just walking out on him, apparently afraid for her life. Joe not sure what's going on but decides to pick up and take off too, which means uprooting his 9 yr old son, whom was unceremoniously dumped on him by his wife. In his clearing of the house he finds an item which could be described as having a mind of its own - some how this will play into things in future. May jump between starting chapter w/ a present day blurb and then flashbacks. Hoping for it coalesce into a paranormal murder mystery, but we'll see. Open to input.
- Mood:
apathetic
I. Thesis
Just a moment enjoying stillness,
giving each other's regard gracious entrance to hearts.
Open mouths link in natural symmetry, overcoming never.
II. Antithesis
Desire enfolds both,
offering relief at hand,
as needed nearness exalts heavy ardor,
before exploding reverence.
III. Synthesis
Fervent oration rebels ecstatically, vanquishing eternal rest.
Just a moment enjoying stillness,
giving each other's regard gracious entrance to hearts.
Open mouths link in natural symmetry, overcoming never.
II. Antithesis
Desire enfolds both,
offering relief at hand,
as needed nearness exalts heavy ardor,
before exploding reverence.
III. Synthesis
Fervent oration rebels ecstatically, vanquishing eternal rest.
- Mood:
vibrant - Music:Clair de Lune - Debussy
If I am sitting when you meet me, you may not see it. Walking into my second story apartment you will be simultaneously overwhelmed by the brightly colored paintings, books, music & movies, all drowned out by my loud and infectious laugh. I exude vitality and as you make your way through there are framed photographs from the mountains I have climbed, oceans I have dived, deserts I have hiked and endless churches and museums that I have visited.
After a few minutes you might notice that my breathing has become more labored, the sweat is pooling on my brow and my alert posture has started to slump into the couch. I am no long what I used to be and can no longer maintain the vivid presence I used to constantly inhabit. I cannot walk, stand or sit straight for more than ten minutes before I begin to collapse. Or when I do it is despite the pain that is coming on and that will stay with me for days, or sometimes weeks.
You might be embarrassed as we are both confronted by my frailty, so at odds with the large frame that once was legendary for its strength and endurance. As you search for another place to look you might at last take in my shiny red cane, the breathing machine, the regiment of pill bottles and the overflowing folder of medical bills and benefit explanations that are waiting to be filed.
I was an artist, a musician, an actress, a dancer, an academic, an administrator, a muscular therapist, and an unignorable force of nature. With all of these gifts and experiences, when asked my profession now, all I can say is 'disabled.' It's not a question of what I can or cannot do, but of what it takes for me to do it. I have the use of all of my limbs and senses, but now that I have chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia any focused use of one or more of my faculties causes me fatigue and pain that is by many accounts comparable to what one experiences with cancer.
My cells don't make enough energy and my neurons communicate too much pain. We don't know how these illnesses happen and so we who suffer with them are not given the respectable status of a chronic disease. We have syndromes, a constellation of symptoms and conditions that may last for months, if you're lucky, or decades, if you're not. There is no test that will tell us how likely we are to improve or how likely we are to get sick again if we do. So we have to live our lives balanced between a grim acceptance that we may need to plan never to work again and an impossible optimism that today will be a good day.
There is no pride in chronic fatigue, because you quickly learn what overextending yourself will cost. I am currently in a two week flare up of shooting pain in my lower back, hips and legs and aching in all of my joints, staying in bed all day and running a constant low-grade fever. These two weeks of heightened illness and misery were caused by standing for 15 minutes, w/ my cane, when there were no more chairs left, sitting for an hour and walking up and down one flight of stairs.
Harder still than the ongoing failures of my form to function is the sluggish weight through which my mind now operates. Once used to reading dozens of books per year, most days I cannot maintain focus enough to read One full article. And if you find some eloquence in these words that you think belies the gravity of my condition. This post was for Invisible Illness Week, September 14th-20th, 2009.
After a few minutes you might notice that my breathing has become more labored, the sweat is pooling on my brow and my alert posture has started to slump into the couch. I am no long what I used to be and can no longer maintain the vivid presence I used to constantly inhabit. I cannot walk, stand or sit straight for more than ten minutes before I begin to collapse. Or when I do it is despite the pain that is coming on and that will stay with me for days, or sometimes weeks.
You might be embarrassed as we are both confronted by my frailty, so at odds with the large frame that once was legendary for its strength and endurance. As you search for another place to look you might at last take in my shiny red cane, the breathing machine, the regiment of pill bottles and the overflowing folder of medical bills and benefit explanations that are waiting to be filed.
I was an artist, a musician, an actress, a dancer, an academic, an administrator, a muscular therapist, and an unignorable force of nature. With all of these gifts and experiences, when asked my profession now, all I can say is 'disabled.' It's not a question of what I can or cannot do, but of what it takes for me to do it. I have the use of all of my limbs and senses, but now that I have chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia any focused use of one or more of my faculties causes me fatigue and pain that is by many accounts comparable to what one experiences with cancer.
My cells don't make enough energy and my neurons communicate too much pain. We don't know how these illnesses happen and so we who suffer with them are not given the respectable status of a chronic disease. We have syndromes, a constellation of symptoms and conditions that may last for months, if you're lucky, or decades, if you're not. There is no test that will tell us how likely we are to improve or how likely we are to get sick again if we do. So we have to live our lives balanced between a grim acceptance that we may need to plan never to work again and an impossible optimism that today will be a good day.
There is no pride in chronic fatigue, because you quickly learn what overextending yourself will cost. I am currently in a two week flare up of shooting pain in my lower back, hips and legs and aching in all of my joints, staying in bed all day and running a constant low-grade fever. These two weeks of heightened illness and misery were caused by standing for 15 minutes, w/ my cane, when there were no more chairs left, sitting for an hour and walking up and down one flight of stairs.
Harder still than the ongoing failures of my form to function is the sluggish weight through which my mind now operates. Once used to reading dozens of books per year, most days I cannot maintain focus enough to read One full article. And if you find some eloquence in these words that you think belies the gravity of my condition. This post was for Invisible Illness Week, September 14th-20th, 2009.
- Mood:
thoughtful - Music:Why Don't You See Me - Concrete Blonde
Wow! The Vampire Ball was amazing fun. And it occurred to me that I didn't tell you enough about it. For instance, did you know I created a band for the ball? Yup. Samantha Gillogly came down from Boston to play fiddle with the group. And one of my best friends, Jamie Haeuser, rocked the night out on the bodhran and backup vocals. Considering we had no rehearsal time with Samantha, I was blown away by just how great it all sounded. I heard quite a few compliments for the show too.
Over the weekend, the three of us jammed some more and there was a beautiful connection such that by Sunday we were asking ourselves what we were gonna call the band.
So yesterday, I was listening to the CD Baby DIY Podcast and got the idea to do a Band Naming Contest. Here's how it works. Every day this week, starting today, I want to hear your favorite band names for a Celtic band. At the end of the day, I will pick my favorite band name and that person will receive a free download of one of my albums. It'll last about a week. So start naming the band!
(Read More...)
-- Do you have a quote, movie, album, tip or suggestion that you'd like to share in my Weeklies? If so, post a comment with your suggestion here.
Originally published at Marc Gunn .com. Read. Interact. Breathe. It's easy; it's free.
If you could go back in time to another decade, which decade would you choose and why? Would you want to return or stay there? What if you could bring one other person with you? Submitted By |
Ah Yes. Hypothetically I would travel back to the time of Adam and Eve (if it actually existed) and I would like to give Adam a hit over the head for being such a wimp and stop him following Eve.
Would I come back? Heck Yeah, to find out what earth would have be like now.
Who would I bring back? Kane and Able. Because somehow they managed to produce children without women. Interesting Hey.
- Mood:
impressed
Well, I don't really know where to start here, but I guess I'm gonna start with Saturday. By Saturday, I was mostly recovered from the flu, but I was having horrible horrible pains in my legs, and it was more like nerve pain, completely with burning, tingling, etc. It was really bad and I didn't know what to do about it. I dealt with it on Saturday, but mainly because I just hoped it would go away because I didn't want to go the ER, because they usually just dismiss everything as fibro anyways.
But on Sunday, I woke up and it was even worse, and I just couldn't take it anymore, so I ended up in the ER anyways. The doctor said it did seem like nerve pain but he didn't know what to do for it since I was already on Lyrica. I basically told him that obviously the Lyrica wasn't working right and there had to be SOMETHING he could do. So then reluctantly (I say this because thats how he sounded) prescribed Neurontin. I went to Rite Aid to get it filled, and made sure I double checked with the pharmacist to make sure I could take both Lyrica and Neurontin at the same time, and it all checked out ok. So I started taking it that night, and woah what a difference! The pain got much better along with the other symptoms, and it even helped me sleep!
So on Tuesday, (Remember, Monday was a holiday) I called my neurologist's office to tell him about all that had happened. He didn't think it was necessary for me to be on both medications, and since he apparently likes Lyrica better, he decided to just up that. I wasn't very happy with that decision since the Neurontin seemed to be helping more, so I called yet again, and he finally agreed.
Tuesday night, I stop taking Lyrica and took Neurontin instead. Wednesday I slept most of the day, but don't really think much of it because that happens sometimes with my fibro flares. However, when I did end up being awake that evening, I was horribly depressed/anxious and wasn't even really sure why. And it was really bad, like including crying fits. And then I was like that on Thursday most of the day too. WTF?
Same with today. But today Dan and I realized that it must be the stopping of the Lyrica, and then it's like a withdrawal or something of some sort. I don't know. But its really bad, and tonight I just decided I couldn't take it anymore and took a Lyrica to see if the theory was correct. It was. I feel much better now, still upset about the same things as I was, but I'm not a wreck at all. Not sure what I am going to do about this for the rest of the weekend, but I know for a fact that I am calling my doctor next week to see what can be done.
Well, there's the update on my life. Hope all is well <3
But on Sunday, I woke up and it was even worse, and I just couldn't take it anymore, so I ended up in the ER anyways. The doctor said it did seem like nerve pain but he didn't know what to do for it since I was already on Lyrica. I basically told him that obviously the Lyrica wasn't working right and there had to be SOMETHING he could do. So then reluctantly (I say this because thats how he sounded) prescribed Neurontin. I went to Rite Aid to get it filled, and made sure I double checked with the pharmacist to make sure I could take both Lyrica and Neurontin at the same time, and it all checked out ok. So I started taking it that night, and woah what a difference! The pain got much better along with the other symptoms, and it even helped me sleep!
So on Tuesday, (Remember, Monday was a holiday) I called my neurologist's office to tell him about all that had happened. He didn't think it was necessary for me to be on both medications, and since he apparently likes Lyrica better, he decided to just up that. I wasn't very happy with that decision since the Neurontin seemed to be helping more, so I called yet again, and he finally agreed.
Tuesday night, I stop taking Lyrica and took Neurontin instead. Wednesday I slept most of the day, but don't really think much of it because that happens sometimes with my fibro flares. However, when I did end up being awake that evening, I was horribly depressed/anxious and wasn't even really sure why. And it was really bad, like including crying fits. And then I was like that on Thursday most of the day too. WTF?
Same with today. But today Dan and I realized that it must be the stopping of the Lyrica, and then it's like a withdrawal or something of some sort. I don't know. But its really bad, and tonight I just decided I couldn't take it anymore and took a Lyrica to see if the theory was correct. It was. I feel much better now, still upset about the same things as I was, but I'm not a wreck at all. Not sure what I am going to do about this for the rest of the weekend, but I know for a fact that I am calling my doctor next week to see what can be done.
Well, there's the update on my life. Hope all is well <3
Yet again, I am not feeling life lately, but this time its because I have managed to come down with the flu. And trust me, the flu plus fibro is absolutely horrible and really just makes you wanna curl up in a ball and die. Or maybe that last part is just me. Who knows?
But anyway, I am currently on day 5 of this horrible thing and I def don't feel any better at all. And this is the weirdest flu I've ever had.The symptoms change, come and go, etc. In my memory, I've never had something like that. But I've had all the worst symptoms. Fever, headache, congestion, coughing, sore throat, dizziness, weakness, pain, stomachache, etc. You name it and I've prolly had it. And I'm pretty sure its making my fibro act up more too.
I'm pumping in the antioxidants, the vitamin c, other supplements, and fluids but nothing seems to help. I have not felt any better from day to day, and during some parts of the day I feel worse. Like I said, its a weird strain I have here.
To make matters worse, Dan is sick too, and we both have the hardest time getting things done. And I've had to take time off work, which absolutely sucks because we need the money. I'm supposed to go back tomorrow, and I think I'm going to even if I'm at death's door. We need the money that badly.
Ok I'm off. Sorry for the complaining. And sorry for any typos, I did this via my blackberry.
<3
But anyway, I am currently on day 5 of this horrible thing and I def don't feel any better at all. And this is the weirdest flu I've ever had.The symptoms change, come and go, etc. In my memory, I've never had something like that. But I've had all the worst symptoms. Fever, headache, congestion, coughing, sore throat, dizziness, weakness, pain, stomachache, etc. You name it and I've prolly had it. And I'm pretty sure its making my fibro act up more too.
I'm pumping in the antioxidants, the vitamin c, other supplements, and fluids but nothing seems to help. I have not felt any better from day to day, and during some parts of the day I feel worse. Like I said, its a weird strain I have here.
To make matters worse, Dan is sick too, and we both have the hardest time getting things done. And I've had to take time off work, which absolutely sucks because we need the money. I'm supposed to go back tomorrow, and I think I'm going to even if I'm at death's door. We need the money that badly.
Ok I'm off. Sorry for the complaining. And sorry for any typos, I did this via my blackberry.
<3
Ok. So here is an update on I've been feeling and such lately.
The Savella has been interesting. When I first went up to full dose, I had weird side effects, and what I called a "shifty" feeling. It was a really horrible day. But it got better and started to go away, so I felt better and continued the dose.
I feel like the Savella is helping with the pain. I really do. It was rainy here the past couple of days and even that didn't make immense pain like it usually does. It could be a coincedence, but I really don't think it is. And even on normal days, I don't feel as much pain. I am still sore, but not really in pain as much, if that makes any sense.
The problem I have found with stopping the Cymbalta to switch to Savella though has been my emotions. I'm like a rollercoaster. Not an extreme one though. But sometimes I just seem to get really anxious or whatever, and up freaking out/crying. I've always had anxiety though, and I think the Cymbalta was helping it. The Buspar I'm on doesn't seem to do much of anything for my anxiety anymore. But I don't like these random crying "fits," they aren't like me at all.
So there's the update on how I've been feeling and such. Have a doctor appointment tomorrow. Dr. Winn wants to check my fibro tender points and see if the Savella is helping, and he is gonna give me some free samples of it to save me money. I'm so glad he's so good with giving me samples!
That's it for now...hope everyone is doing well! <3
The Savella has been interesting. When I first went up to full dose, I had weird side effects, and what I called a "shifty" feeling. It was a really horrible day. But it got better and started to go away, so I felt better and continued the dose.
I feel like the Savella is helping with the pain. I really do. It was rainy here the past couple of days and even that didn't make immense pain like it usually does. It could be a coincedence, but I really don't think it is. And even on normal days, I don't feel as much pain. I am still sore, but not really in pain as much, if that makes any sense.
The problem I have found with stopping the Cymbalta to switch to Savella though has been my emotions. I'm like a rollercoaster. Not an extreme one though. But sometimes I just seem to get really anxious or whatever, and up freaking out/crying. I've always had anxiety though, and I think the Cymbalta was helping it. The Buspar I'm on doesn't seem to do much of anything for my anxiety anymore. But I don't like these random crying "fits," they aren't like me at all.
So there's the update on how I've been feeling and such. Have a doctor appointment tomorrow. Dr. Winn wants to check my fibro tender points and see if the Savella is helping, and he is gonna give me some free samples of it to save me money. I'm so glad he's so good with giving me samples!
That's it for now...hope everyone is doing well! <3
I'm so bad at updating this blog lately. I'm just so exhausted and don't ever seem to have the time or energy to do it. But it's been long enough now, so here it goes.
I got a job. I'm now a Sales Associate at Toys R Us. As far as that type of job goes, it's pretty cool, and I absolutely love the people I work with. Everyone is good friends and talks and jokes and whatnot. Makes the work environment much better, especially compared to my last job at East Coast Marketing. The only downside though is that it is EXHAUSTING me. I feel dead after every shift, and usually end up feeling sick during work. I get so tired. And tonight, my pain has been extreme. But there really isn't much I can do about it. We need the money, so I have to endure.
My doctor has put me on Savella, which I'm hoping will make some kind of difference. So far I'm not on the normal dosage yet, I'm still on the increasing dosages. Or however you word that. I haven't noticed too much change yet, though I haven't felt any negative side effects either, so that's a plus. I just hope it really does make some sort of positive difference, because honestly, I'm going crazy.
I'm also really upset that my facebook group hasn't taken off like I had hoped for it too. Don't get me wrong, many people have joined, but donations are at a minimum. I know times are hard, but I'm just so frustrated. I really really really want/need this treatment, and I just have no way of getting it. I'm not mad at anyone, just at the situation. I don't feel like its fair that I can't get the treatment that I need in order to live my life.
Well, that's it for now. Just a short update.
<3 you all!
I got a job. I'm now a Sales Associate at Toys R Us. As far as that type of job goes, it's pretty cool, and I absolutely love the people I work with. Everyone is good friends and talks and jokes and whatnot. Makes the work environment much better, especially compared to my last job at East Coast Marketing. The only downside though is that it is EXHAUSTING me. I feel dead after every shift, and usually end up feeling sick during work. I get so tired. And tonight, my pain has been extreme. But there really isn't much I can do about it. We need the money, so I have to endure.
My doctor has put me on Savella, which I'm hoping will make some kind of difference. So far I'm not on the normal dosage yet, I'm still on the increasing dosages. Or however you word that. I haven't noticed too much change yet, though I haven't felt any negative side effects either, so that's a plus. I just hope it really does make some sort of positive difference, because honestly, I'm going crazy.
I'm also really upset that my facebook group hasn't taken off like I had hoped for it too. Don't get me wrong, many people have joined, but donations are at a minimum. I know times are hard, but I'm just so frustrated. I really really really want/need this treatment, and I just have no way of getting it. I'm not mad at anyone, just at the situation. I don't feel like its fair that I can't get the treatment that I need in order to live my life.
Well, that's it for now. Just a short update.
<3 you all!
The first time I met Dad was at my sister-in-laws house. My then boyfriend and I had gone over there for dinner. I was nervous about meeting them all for the first time. I was soon put at ease by the nicest people I had met in a long time.
After dinner I was sitting with my future mother-in-law and sister-in-law talking. Dad walked up to me and said he had something for me. I wasn't sure what it could be.
He put out his hands which were cupped around something. Next thing I know I have a rubber snake in my lap. I was laughing so hard I couldn't see. I jumped up and proceeded to chase Dad around the apartment and outside.
We were all laughing our asses off! It made for the start of a wonderful relationship with my in-laws.
Dad got sick last week. We knew he wasn't feeling good but didn't think anything of it. On Sunday my mother-in-law called and asked my husband to come over because Dad was really sick. They called an ambulance and Dad, in true Dad fashion, refused to go to the hospital.
Monday morning, Mom called about 4 am. Dad couldn't walk by himself or talk well. They got him to the hospital by ambulance and they checked his blood sugar. It was 1200! It should have been around 200.
They did everything they could for him in the ER and in the ICU. The doctor decided on Dialysis because Dad's kidneys had shut down.
They put Dad on the dialysis machine and he crashed about an hour later. We decided as a family to remove him from the life support system on Tuesday.
From that point on it was just a matter of time. Around 1:00 pm yesterday, Dad took his final breath.
For a man who was healthy and active at the age of 81 this was a HUGE shock to those of us who were closest to him.
He and Mom had been married for 55 years.
He will be missed by so many people who's lives he touched. He was always a positive man and someone we could all look up to and respect. He had honor and a sense of responsibility. He was active in a model railroad club and will be sorely missed by his friends.
He was generous and quick to laugh. He would have given you the shirt of his back if you needed it.
We will miss him. We loved him. He touched our hearts and will stay in our minds and hearts always.
If you could give a secret gift of any value to one anonymous recipient, who would you choose and what would you give them? Submitted By |
I do love the Writers Block questions. They really make one think.
The question, while it is hypothectical, is also a little confusing so I will assume from the title "Mysterious Benafactor" that the question is "If you could give a gift to a person anonymously, who would it be and what would the gift be.
I would give Prime Minister Kevin Rudd the gift of $1,100.00 (Disability Pension for 1 month) and the oportunity to live on it for a month while paying rent of $180.00pw.
- Mood:
curious
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